You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize