Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
