You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
