Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
