he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
