We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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