I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Shame - the story of my life.
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