I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
