ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
