I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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