operation harelip BJ is a go
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
