i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it because I queefed?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
