Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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