Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize