Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
