I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
