He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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