Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I sprained my soul last night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
