Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
