Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
