the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
