I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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