Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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