his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize