She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
