im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
