im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
