he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
