I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
