at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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