its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
