you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just blew my weed a kiss
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
