Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
operation have a gay friend backfired
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
