You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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