remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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