Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
