i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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