In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
