i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize