I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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