he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
