I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
