I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
