Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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