I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
