I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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