i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
