i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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