I love black thongs
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
