Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
