My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize