I must be too annoying 4 u.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
