Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
