im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
