Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
