No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
