you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
