idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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