she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
