belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
