I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I did not marry a roomba.
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