My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
