On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
