Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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