we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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